Though it's been weeks since the breakup occurred, things still seem a bit uncertain. It would probably be best if things didn't seem uncertain. Lor still wants me back, but she wants me to change first. Neither of us is willing to budge.
But there's something else for me now: I'm convinced that she's been lying to me. Not only do we hardly talk anymore, but I don't feel that I can trust what we have talked about. We drift further from each other every day, and it's very depressing. Even if she were to agree to come back to me today, I'd first expect her to clear up the lies she's told me; I'd also want to know everything that I missed from her life since she cut me out of it. These are repairs that I think of as necessary before we could ever go back to normal, but the chances of those repairs being made grow more slim every day.
I suppose I need to stop thinking that there is a chance. I need to think of this as permanent.
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